Grading essay "R"

When I was reading the essay written about WWE it reminded me of the work shopping that I did in English 1105.  I read over the essay and looked for what stood out to me and what seemed like obvious mistakes.  Overall I would grade this essay as a B-.  It was obvious that the author was trying to get the point across that WWE has changed since the 80's, but the way he went about writing his essay wasn't that great.  He had great ideas and lots of information to back up what he was trying to say, but I thought he needed to have better organization.  The transitions from one paragraph to another seemed to be lacking and whenever I thought he was going to continue on a topic, it seemed like he jumped to the next idea.  There were also a few grammatical mistakes and some sentences that seemed unfinished.  An example of a sentence that seemed unfinished would be, "Mainly from its live events, this grossed 295.4 million last year."  This sentence could easily be revised to make more sense.

To me this seemed like more of a rough draft then a final copy.  The author has a great start to the paper but needs to clean it up.  He answered the question that he was focusing his paper on, but the way attacked the question could be more clear.  This paper is in no way terrible, but could definitely be improved for the better.  The facts that were given are perfect for the paper, but to improve his grade I think he needs to give a stronger introduction and use his facts in a more orderly fashion.